Spitting My Pain

The cold and sleep normally get me real bad/ they bite and fight at me until I’ve just about had/ enough of this shit/ I’m not used to this/ getting caught up in bliss/ and it crashing down like this/ with no control or understanding/ I swear and shout down the phone at him

Why again and why now?/ this is the third fucking time that you’ve backed out/ don’t back down/ don’t mess me around/ you’re in it for real or just get the fuck out/ I hate you now, you get that man I said I hate you now

How does it feel to have it confirmed/ that once you’ve gone that’s my happiness burned/you knew me before what’s got in to your head/ that you can get me to bed and leave me for dead/ ‘coz emotionally that’s where I stand/ shocked and cold, cold inside/ I refuse to cry/ you bastard you let me die

Sitting up late and I’m/ contemplating/ my mind is racing/ and my thoughts debating/ how could you have taken this so seriously/ going out with me was just curiosity/ but you know what they say, it killed the cat/ he has nine fucking lives they didn’t think about that/ So one more try? no fucking way/ you hear that man fucking go away!

Its always the same you go away to this Christian crap/ and when you get back you reject me like that/ a click of the fingers and you think its all done/ woosh-a-bop-doo and look she’s gone

You say I make it hard for you/ but look man, what do you wanna pursue/ ‘coz what you said was true was a fucking lie/ thirty one months of a fucking lie/ and I told my friends ‘I trust this guy’

Hollow within these canvas walls/writing and rhyming to heal my soul/ I’m trying to figure out what’s going on in the cold and dark, alone and numb/ but I don’t find it frightening / with this biting and fighting/ they’re not getting through no they’re getting through/ ‘coz all I wanna do is scream/ fuck you!

 

2006

 

 

Guinness in the glass

Scurry scurry
Busy busy
Speedy, fast
Rushing past
People in the middle, it’s told by the fiddle
Guinness in the glass

 

The music plays
Fiddles blaze
Feet tapping
Fingers clapping
Bows dancing
Folks prancing
People in the middle, it’s told by the fiddle
Guinness in the glass.

 

For my infatuation 2008

Bare

 

I want to write some good shit
Maybe something controversial
Something universal But why write
About religion or something that’s got too much to it
And I don’t know enough about it to do it.
All I need is some inspiration,
Escape from social suffocation, 
The condemning eyes of this nation
Ironic that people expect expectation.

So the stakes are rising,

When it comes to the buzz no one’s compromising
They pretend they can cope, but what I see
Is the level of stress is over riding
Personal relationships and what really matters
Substituting love for things that shatter
Human emotions 'coz that’s what I'm on
I guess what I'm trying to say is

We should strip the veneer

Make what people care about clear
It's easy to pretend that you're interested in
Politics and shit- we're scared to be condemned
For thinking about ourselves, what's here and what's now
“Lets think about the world”
Stories we’ve been told
But who cares about that when your mind’s grown old
What’s important then,
What you’re interested in
Is something deeper, steeper, that which is weaker
Dilutes the mind so you believe it’s okay t’
Present a front of superficial concerns
Get caught up in a life that’s not your own
It’s like hiding away from the matter at hand
The one on your doorstep not in a different land
Where the problems are things you don’t understand.

So the stakes are rising,

When it comes to the buzz no one’s compromising
They pretend they can cope, but what I see
Is the level of stress is over riding
Personal relationships and what really matters
Substituting love for things that shatter
Human emotions 'coz that’s what I'm on
I guess what I'm trying to say is

If people did what they have to do

Tell someone that they don’t hate you
Show a little care to help ’em through
They’ll pass the love around the world
It will shoot and bounce around the world
Make a trip to flip and tip right and wrong

Then you’ve done the job with one stone

Kept your nearest and dearest fearless of what they’ll miss

With your quest to top the best, forgetting about the rest

What you gunna do when you’ve got it all to lose

When you’ve hit the top, think you’re a big shot

In time you’ll feel alone, looking back at what’s gone

On around, stuff that’s on the ground, not in the clouds

That’s where you’ve been and where are you now?

 

So the stakes are rising,

When it comes to the buzz no one’s compromising

They pretend they can cope, but what I see

Is the level of stress is over riding

Personal relationships and what really matters

Substituting love for things that shatter

Human emotions 'coz that’s what I'm on

I guess what I'm trying to say is

Stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paper People

Papers flying

People dying

Are you trying?

They are trying

Keyboards clicking

Time is ticking

Smoke is thickening

Someone’s sickening

Pile it on, the stress is back

Don’t cut slack the stress is back

Waiting for it, get right to it

Who’s that screaming?

Are they dreaming?

NOOOOOOO!

It’s all about the people

We are paper people

We are paper people

We are paper people

Machines humming

People stumbling

They are humbling

Are you humbling?

Pavements hectic

Wounds gone septic

We accept it

They can’t let it

Bring it on, the fight is back

Don’t cut slack the fight is back

Waiting for it, get right to it

They are dreaming

Why’re they screaming?

AAAAAAAAH!

It’s all about the people

We are paper people

We are paper people

We are paper people

It’s all about the people

 

March ‘06

All Of You

Wired up to electrical impulses

Distancing you from the world

You’re deaf, unresponsive

Eyes glazed, apathetically dazed.

Buzz de beep doop bodu

Beep beep awakened from your sleep

Thumb twitches

Communicating without speaking

Another beep and you’re back to sleeping

 

Occasionally flashes of light from

The screen fall across your face

You’re gone. Unresponsive

Ears glazed, otherwise engaged.

Hello? Hi. Hi Hello?

Nudge nudge, why won’t you budge?

Sucked into a world that isn’t ours

Still plenty of guns, fighting and fast cars

 

Look at that clique with important things to say

All talk and no interaction

You’re dumb, unresponsive

In a crowd, not singled out.

Hang on a sec, can I put you on hold?

Natter natter surrounded by chatter

A rush of conversational clash

As we hold phones to our heads turning to mush.

 

To touch type is the only type of touch

Networking now has another meaning

You’re numb, unresponsive

Expression bland, to the brush of a hand

Oi oi poke me back!

Pinch punch first of the month

Spending time in a chat room full of people

Physically alone do you get to meet at all?

 

Just look at what the world has become,

Orally blind and audibly numb.

 

Completed 2013 longest running poem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ladybird and the caterpillar

Go forth and embrace the world

On this sunny, sunny day!

Skip and dance around the trees

Where the insects come out to play:

The ladybird lands on the leaf,

The ants scurry up the tree,

The caterpillar bares his teeth,

Munching on his tea.

“Hey! That’s my leaf you’re eating there!”

Says the ladybird to that back full of hair

But the caterpillar couldn’t hear

And really bugs don’t talk;
You should remember this, my dear,
When going for your walk.

For Corinne 2008

How well do you know the person you sleep with?

How well do you know the person you sleep with, eat with, greet me
Once in a while, once with a smile, twice if I’m nice and thrice if you like.
We used to kiss, maybe on the cheek, most on the lips what did I miss
Out on something that’s happened to change? Something rearranged
Whilst I was asleep on my side of the bed, toe to toe -head to head.
Curled up on the window side, the place that you decide
is best for me.
Into slide, out of sleep, perfect for shh- not a peep! I’m trying to sleep!

Even if what I feel is degradable, separable, delectable, sexual, invisible
To you that I sleep with, eat with and don’t even greet me
with a slap on the bum, give me one! Just for fun, come on hun! What’s become
Of our playful nature?
Hate me?
Hate cha.

Kiss me, chase me, push me and embrace me

The best I get is in my dreams
Curled up on the window side, the place that you decide
is best for me
Into slide, out of sleep, perfect for shh- not a peep! I’m trying to sleep!

This is when I realise the reality of our demise, tear drops fall from my eyes
And soak the cotton that sleeps our lives
Words unsaid, as feelings die
Feelings dead, this is the reality of our bed.

2013